


Prepare for Liftoff

by JoleneTheMoon



Series: Fast and Loose [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Academy days, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friendship, Gen, Meeting the Parents, Timeskip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 20:46:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14293122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoleneTheMoon/pseuds/JoleneTheMoon
Summary: Sakura's friends are set to meet the parents. Naruto prepares to be brutally kicked-out.





	Prepare for Liftoff

**Author's Note:**

> Bit of a time leap between #1 and this one in the series, sorry about that.
> 
> Basic head-canon is that since Sakura joined up with Kiba instead of Ino, she's much more outspoken and a tomboy during the Academy Era. She doesn't care about Sasuke, since I think most of that was Ino and other girls telling her to care about him (and personally, I think that the Sasu/Saku relationship is doomed and officially terrible), and all of her friends are boys.
> 
> I'm planning on Sakura being much more down-to-earth kick-ass at an earlier age and much less concerned with her looks and what boys are doing. Since she's friends with most of them, she's pretty much convinced they're all disgusting and only good for sparring with.
> 
> Plus I've got her parents also being bad asses. Kizashi is the 'Chuunin Commander' a role I've seen in a few different fanfics (I apologize for not knowing them off the top of my head... I give full credit to whoever came up with this role), and I'm planning on setting Mebuki up as an ANBU assassin. Cause Sakura gets her ass-kicking genes from somewhere.
> 
> Aaaaand, I've got a head-canon going where Kakashi adopted Naruto. I plan on doing a little drabble of this down the line as well, so I don't want to delve too deeply - but basic background is, Naruto was by himself for a bit then Kakashi came along and scooped him to be raised by him and his ninken. And now Naruto refers to Kakashi as 'Kashi-nii' and he's basically an older brother figure.

Naruto was simultaneously excited and on the verge of hysteria. The Haruno’s front door loomed in front of him and all he could feel was the sweat dripping off his brow, the clamminess building in his clenched fists, and the fluttering in his stomach. He was not ready for this. He was just going to turn around and find his Kashi-nii and pretend he’d never been invited in the first place.

_Oh, why am I home early Kashi-nii? I guess I got lost on the road of life and forgot the directions! He’d buy that excuse…. Right?_ Naruto totally had this in the bag. There’s no way Kashi-nii wouldn’t believe that. After all, that was the same reason the jounin always gave when he was at least an hour late for Naruto’s parent-teacher conferences at the academy. _Yep, just gonna turn around and walk home right now_.

 

“Hey Naruto! You made it man! This is gonna be awesome. Kizashi-san makes really kick ass soba!” Kiba slapped Naruto on the back and opened the front door. “I’m home!” He kicked his shoes off and slid down the hallway. Naruto continued to stand frozen with his head half-cocked forward from Kiba’s hit.

 

“You should go inside. Why? Because it is considered rude and uncouth to stand in front of someone else’s home looking frightened.”

 

“Hello Shino… It’s good to see you again.” Chouji spoke up while digging out the final crumbs in his chip bag.

 

“Ah! How long have you guys just been standing there? That’s creepy ya know!” Naruto flailed and barely managed to keep himself upright. “What the hell is wrong with you guys?”

 

“Better watch yourself Naruto. Sasuke might hear your foul language and never want to sit by you again!” Sakura taunted from where she’d popped up just inside the front door.

 

“Sasuke? Where?” Naruto began to furiously look around as Sakura burst into giggles. “Gah! I mean… why would I care what that stupid bastard thinks anyways?”

 

Shikamaru sighed from his place leaning against the fence behind Chouji. “Naruto. Seriously. We get it. You have a crush. On Sasuke. It’s fascinating. Truly.” Shikamaru’s deadpan delivery perfectly matched his detached facial expression as he stared towards Naruto with barely open eyes.

 

Naruto could feel his face turn bright red and immediately began yelling. “What? No! Ew! He’s all… broody and mean! But good at fighting! And brings yummy onigiri sometimes that he doesn’t mind sharing… And, and he hits all his targets! And beats me in spars! And sounds really smart when Iruka-sensei asks him questions! And… well… But he’s a bastard though! A total bastard!”

 

Sakura rolled her eyes and pretended to not see Naruto’s pink cheeks and starry-eyed expression of love. “Hey Shika – why is it that you can manage to sound both intelligent and rude in the same sentence? You need to teach me that. Mom’s always saying I come across too nice every time I try to insult someone.” Sakura responded while waving everyone in. “After dinner, we’ll have to talk. Dad’s been cooking up a storm and cannot wait to meet you all. Come on in!” She disappeared down towards where Kiba’s voice could be heard yelling something enthusiastic.

 

“Naruto, please either enter the edifice or remove yourself from the pathway. Also, please do not step to your left. There is a member of the _Deinopis_ arachnid genus attempting to catch his dinner and I would be extraordinarily upset were you to harm it.” Shino pushed his glasses up his nose and nudged Naruto closer to the porch.

 

“What? Arachnid? Is that like a Praying Mantis? Cause those were cool when you showed us the other day, dude.” Naruto was attempting to scan the yard furiously while also attempting to avoid Shino’s attempts to make him enter the house.

 

“No. Arachnids are certainly not similar to Praying Mantises. Those belong to the Insecta class. Clearly.”

 

“You’re being troublesome. Move Naruto. Now.” Shikamaru’s voice was almost edging on impatience at this point. “Chouji’s hungry and you’re blocking us all.”

 

“Ugh fine! I guess I’ll go meet the parents then! This couldn’t possibly end badly or anything! And don’t have such a stick up your butt, Shika! You’re just upset you aren’t asleep right now.”

 

~~~~~~~

 

Approximately fifteen minutes later, Sakura had finally managed to get everyone seated around the family dining table and looking at least semi-respectable.

 

“Okay guys, this is my dad Kizashi! Please don’t say anything about his hair or he’ll start making terrible jokes.”

 

“Maa Sakura. You sound just like your mother. You know, most people like my jokes. Why just the other day a rather nice chuunin was all ‘ _oh Kizashi! You are the funniest shinobi in town! I am just so glad you’re our Ch_ _uunin Commander!’_ ” Kizashi made his voice extremely high pitched and breathy and Naruto could barely hold back his laughter.

_Guess I was worried for nothing! Her dad’s awesome!_

 

“Dad, no one actually sounds like that! Well, except maybe Ino whenever she’s fawning over _You Know Who_.”

 

“Who’s You Know Who? I thought Ino only fawned over Sasuke?” Kiba blurted out in confusion.

 

“Kiba! We’ve been trying not to say his name around Naruto! Now he’s gonna be distracted for the next hour!”

 

“What? Nuh uh! I don’t have a crush on Sasuke guys! He’s just a bastard! And kind of cool… And his hair looks kind of soft, ya know?” Naruto began to ramble and stare off into space. He didn’t get why his friends didn’t see how cool Sasuke could be. I mean, yeah, the guy _was_ a total bastard. But like a cool one? With awesome hair. And he really was pretty kick ass for their age group.

 

“Anyways… Dad, this is Naruto, Shino, Shikamaru, and Chouji. Clearly you already know Kiba, unfortunately, and Akamaru, definitely fortunately for that one. He’s totally my best friend. These other guys just sort of came as a package deal.” Sakura shrugged while cuddling Akamaru and ignoring Kiba’s dramatic collapse onto the table.

 

“Well it’s certainly nice to meet you boys and put faces to the names. I mean, I do know all of your parents but seeing you kids in person is a bit different than just hearing stories. And Naruto, eh? What’s your last name again?” Kizashi peered curiously down the table.

 

“Oh, uh, Uzumaki, sir.” Naruto began to panic again. _Oh shit, this is totally when he kicks me out_.

 

“Uzumaki, eh? I knew I recognized you!”

 

_Oh shit. Oh shit. Should have never told Kashi-nii I was invited over. Here comes the Demon Fit_ _™._

 

“You’re Hatake’s boy, right?”

 

Naruto’s jaw dropped.

 

“Naruto. Don’t be troublesome. It’s not like you don’t talk about your ‘Kashi-nii’ just as much as you talk about your precious ‘Sasuke-bastard’. Believe it or not, shinobi are supposed to notice things.” Shikamaru grumbled out as he tried to find the perfect slouching position in his chair. If he could just find the perfect angle he could catch a nap but still look like he was paying attention. Total win-win in his book.

 

“Yeah! I’m definitely Hatake’s boy! Yep! Nothing else interesting about me! No way! Just that! Yep!”

 

Kizashi’s head was cocked to the side as his mouth pulled upwards into a smirk. “Well, I wouldn’t say that’s the only interesting thing… I hear you’re quite the prankster. In fact, just the other day I could have sworn I saw Hatake with an orange face mask and an ‘I love ramen’ sign stuck to his back… You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you? I’d love to be able to tell the boys down at the Jounin Station how I met the person able to prank the famed Copy Nin, eh?”

 

Naruto outright cackled. “He’s really easy to prank actually! Oh man do I have stories to tell you!”

 

~~~~~~~

 

When Mebuki stealthily slipped in through the kitchen window that evening, she was greeted with the sounds of laughter and loud chatter.

 

_I’m so glad Sakura was able to have her friends over. Now I just have to make it down the hall and get all this blood off before they see me… Why must assassination targets always struggle?_

**Author's Note:**

> Also I'm sort of on the fence between making this A/U still have the Uchiha massacre or not... Both have pros and cons.... Thoughts?


End file.
